He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
In America we eat man semen.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
