Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
do herpes really smell.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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