Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
