There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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