And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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