Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
