I can't watch pbs sober anymore
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
