so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
