batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
