Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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