She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
