I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
