I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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