i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
