okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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