Don't you send me to vm
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize