So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.