North Korea, Best Korea!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.