Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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