wat bout pragnant strippers??
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Randomize
