life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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