Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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