i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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