just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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