so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
