Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize