So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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