It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
