My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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