My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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