I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
