There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?