Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

nut hugger

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(313): nut hugger http://tfl.nu/mtjw

Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (1034)
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(305): View more from Florida

I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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(305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn

Replies (35) Good night (1218) Bad night (3547)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.

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(815): I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair. http://tfl.nu/f22e

Replies (12) Good night (829) Bad night (4064)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears

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(865): He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears http://tfl.nu/nyec

Replies (29) Good night (1381) Bad night (8446)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

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(808): You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/k2hw

Replies (27) Good night (1686) Bad night (3356)
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(720): View more from Colorado

the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis

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(720): the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis http://tfl.nu/41ot

Replies (14) Good night (5439) Bad night (1802)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.

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(931): How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you. http://tfl.nu/giys

Replies (7) Good night (3450) Bad night (1270)
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(315): View more from New York

Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men

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(315): Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men http://tfl.nu/a6p1

Replies (4) Good night (1214) Bad night (585)
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(909): View more from California

I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused

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(909): I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused http://tfl.nu/1156

Replies (13) Good night (2088) Bad night (672)
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(301): View more from Maryland

If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.

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(301): If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/gi9x

Replies (14) Good night (1006) Bad night (441)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.

(763): View more from Minnesota

like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo

(612): View more from Minnesota

Wat

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(612): There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday. (763): like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo (612): Wat http://tfl.nu/5jqo

Replies (5) Good night (1804) Bad night (577)
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(616): View more from Michigan

You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.

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(616): You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today. http://tfl.nu/z6l8

Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (377)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.

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(270): He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE. http://tfl.nu/8wqq

Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (442)
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(716): View more from New York

Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer

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(716): Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer http://tfl.nu/jd4w

Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (317)
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(253): View more from Washington

The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen

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(253): The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen http://tfl.nu/uzjk

Replies (0) Good night (144) Bad night (515)

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