"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
