And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
