his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
