So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
