3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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