There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
