i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
