hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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