her vagine was all disorganized.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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