Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
