Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
