"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
