my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
