one two three fourrrrnication!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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