Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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