I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
