What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
