You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
