I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
