My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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