haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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