and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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