would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We left an ass print on the piano.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
