Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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