one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
