i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i out mim tonsoeep
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
