Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
