I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
