Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
