First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
