he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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