Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I touched a dick in church today
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
