There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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