I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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