I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
